Season: 10 Episode: 150
Listen to episode 146 in Spanish:
Summary:
What are your Christmas traditions? Traditions are passed on from one generation to the next and binds families throughout generations. Shanda talks about the importance of traditions and how they help adjust with major life changes such as moving and deaths in the family. You’ll also hear about the appeal to tradition fallacy. Has someone in your family ever said you can’t change plans because this is the way it’s always been done? Recognizing this fallacy will help you prepare for conversations like this.
Quotables:
Recommended Resources:
Cross Examined Article: Is Teaching Your Kids About God Child Abuse?
Website: shandafulbright.com
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Email: hello@shandafulbright.com
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We’re getting closer and closer to Christmas with each podcast episode and I cannot believe it’s coming so fast. I want to talk about a topic I haven’t really discussed on the podcast and it’s Christmas tradition and they’re importance. Along with that, I’ll also talk about how traditions can make it hard to face change and why not changing something because that’s the way it’s always been done could turn into a fallacy. I’ll explain.
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And if you are planning an event in 2024 and are looking for a speaker, email me at hello@shandafulbright.com to inquire about topics and a partnership for your event.
Alright, so this is what we’re going to talk about today:
- The importance of traditions and what they mean at Christmas time.
- My Christmas traditions and some of yours.
- The appeal to tradition fallacy and why you need to be aware of it.
The importance of traditions and what they mean at Christmas.
So what is a tradition? Per an Oxford dictionary definition, a tradition is, “the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way.”
The word tradition can have both a secular meaning and a religious meaning. The secular meaning is found in the Oxford dictionary. Religions traditions, on the other hand, can get tricky because some take it so far with traditions that they see their righteousness as the act of the tradition rather than the act of the tradition representing something greater. For example, we take communication often but communion does not save us, it represents Christ’s body being broken for us and his blood being poured out.
But this episode is less about religious traditions, although we might touch on it, and the importance of traditions for the family and what that means to your kids and loved ones.
When I think of traditions I usually think of Christmas time because we create family traditions that stay with us and bring back memories. Christmas, for me, is one of the most nostalgic and sweet times of the year because of the memories and traditions we’ve created over the years. Some traditions have stayed with us still today and some have ended when loved ones have passed away.
Traditions build bonds between families.
They connect people in a way that creates memories, expectations, and anticipation of what your family will do at Christmas. I remember traditions more than I remember presents. Traditions make things special. They show your family they are important to you and that family time is important. They also show your family what is important – like keeping Jesus at the center of the season.
So is there something to be said about traditions? Yes, there is. And the fun thing is you can continue to do those traditions with your kids and there is a history there that brings up family members who aren’t with you anymore and memories that will last forever.
Traditions usually come in several ways:
Ones you grew up with
The ones you pass on to your children
Ones you create with you family
Traditions really are a representation of what is important and what is valued this time of year.
Here are some of my family’s Christmas traditions:
When I was growing up, we watched all of the Christmas classics like Meet Me In St Louis and White Christmas. We went shopping with about $5 to the Dollar store. I also bought my parents some cheap gift that I’m sure they weren’t excited about.
We went shopping for a Christmas tree together and went out to eat dinner before. My mom grew up without a lot of money and my grandparents always put an orange, an apple, hard candy, and nuts in her stocking, so she carried that tradition over to us and honestly, I didn’t like it. I never art any of it. The hard candy was the ribboned candy and it didn’t taste good and my mom knew it but she loved carrying on that tradition with us because that’s what she loved about her childhood.
Needless to say I don’t carry that tradition on to my kids because I know it’s a waste of money and food.
Some of the traditions I carry on with my kids today is the dinner and Christmas tree.
They love it and expect it. When I started teaching kindergarten, Wyatt was a year old and as a kinder teacher, we did a gingerbread hunt with our students and they got to decorate their own cookie. I started doing that with my kids when they were babies and we do it to this day and it is an ordeal.
All of my nieces and nephews come over and we roll out and bake cookies. In the process of them baking, the cookies get out and we have to go look for them. My sister and SIL are always involved and we load up in my sister’s car and go four wheel driving through dirt fields to find the gingerbread mad. There are always nots and clues we leave around the property and the kids basically do a scavenger hunt for him until we make our way back, decorate and eat the cookies.
It’s a good time.
Now that they’re older, we don’t chase them like we did but we still decorate them and bake them and put on a show for the younger kids in the family.
We also put up the nativity scene each year and listen to the Adore Album by Chris Tomlin. It’s one of my favorites and makes me cry each time I listen because I am in awe of the faithfulness of God to send His only Son for us. He humbled Himself and took on flesh to identify with our weaknesses and die in our place. My boys know the music will be blasted each mornin in December as I cook breakfast burritos.
We have outdoor movie night every weekend. My boys will not allow us to watch the “good” movies too early in December and they want the whole family together to do it.
We also go on a mother-son date with the boys.
They each get their own day to go to lunch and Christmas shop. We go see Christmas lights together.
Some of you sent me messages and said your traditions include taking a meal to a family who needs it. Many of you go to the Christmas Eve service. Which I love, our church does a Christmas service and it is always so special. I even had a listener who said she used to be Jehovah Witness so they don’t really celebrate Christmas even though they’re Christians now because it seems too materialized. I think that’s a very fair assessment. That is something I haven’t experienced but can see the challenge in switching from a religion that never celebrated to one where Christmas is the Christian religion.
So if you don’t have traditions for Christmas, here are a few ideas that are meaningful and keep Christ at the center.
- Take gifts, a meal, and/or a tree to a family in need.
- Operation Christmas Child or volunteering at a homeless shelter.
- Get involved with your church’s Christmas programs.
- Go to the Christmas Eve service. I love Christmas Eve services.
- Put up the manger scene in your home and read Luke 2 on Christmas morning.
- Bake cookies and give them to your neighbors and friends. Baking is fun and keeps you in the Christmas spirit while giving to others.
I know there are more, but that’s a good start. My mom told me she is on a group with people who move across the country like we did and one mom said they just got here and are struggling to find normalcy in the huge change and wanted to know how to make Christmas feel normal. My mom suggested they focus on their traditions and Christmas will feel like it usually does no matter where you’re located. I agree.
Alright, so what’s the appeal to tradition fallacy?
Traditions are good for what they are – traditions. But the can be changed and they can evolve, and that’s ok. When someone makes an appeal to tradition, it becomes a fallacy in logic – meaning an error. For example, some people will say that because their grandparents are Catholic, and their parents are catholic, they will be catholic. Is there any other reason you should become a Catholic? If you don’t start the reasons and only appeal to the tradition – because that’s what our family does – it’s a fallacy.
This can be applied to anything. For example, if you want to change plans at Christmas but someone says, “But we always go to grandma’s on Christmas Day. We can’t change that for anyone” that is a fallacy in logic because doing something because it’s always been done is not a reason. There could be good reasons to change plans, such as travel issues or other family obligations. The most important thing is that you can be together even if the day changes.
So traditions are what they are, and nothing more. They are not the authority on religion or righteousness. But when we appeal to tradition, we make it more than what it is.
Close:
I want to close this out by reminding you of the importance of family traditions, especially at Christmas time. It helps bong families, reminisce over loved ones who have gone before us, and reminds us to keep Jesus first and others in sight.
Traditions are what our children look forward to and expect. They want to pass them on to their children because they remember the sounds, sights, and smells of how you made Christmas special for them. When you create traditions that incorporate giving to neighbors, to the needy, or to the less fortunate, our kids and others see the love of Christ in what we do this time of year and it puts the emphasis on what Christmas is all about.
And if you can’t get to all the traditions, don’t kick yourself.
Sometimes my kids will say, “But we haven’t done this yet or that yet and it’s getting so close to Christmas.” It’s OK if you can’t get to everything. As long as you enjoy the moments and make sure you focus on what mattes most. It is better to let other things go rather than be so busy that the obligations of Christmas traditions make you crazy. It’s about balance.
I hope you are enjoying the Christmas season and this short episode encourages you as you do your thing this holiday season. If you have any questions for me, email me at hello@shandafulbright.com and I’ll catch you on the next one.
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