What Is Love?
It’s one of the most used, and least defined, words in our culture.
On Instagram alone, love has been hashtagged over a billion times. Every June we’re reminded that “love is love.” Christians are scolded with “love your neighbor,” or told, “Jesus loves everyone,” as if the gospel is breaking news to us.
But beneath all the slogans is an assumption almost no one questions: That we all mean the same thing when we say love.
Do we?
Before we can make progress in cultural conversations about identity, morality, justice, or relationships, we have to back up and ask a more foundational question: What does love actually mean, and who gets to define it?
Scripture doesn’t leave love vague or subjective. God doesn’t just tell us how to love; He tells us what to love—and what not to love. He places boundaries around our affections and calls us to rightly order our hearts.
Because when love is detached from truth, it gets distorted.
And when love is aimed at the wrong object, it becomes destructive.
The question isn’t whether we love.
The real question is this: How can we know what love is without God, and can we love things that are out of alignment with what He calls good?
Here are three things Christians need to remember about God’s definition of love. Hold onto these, and you won’t be guilted or bullied into loving what the culture celebrates.
1. Love Has a Starting Point
Every time I read about the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2, I feel personally convicted. I relate to them more than any of the other churches John mentions.
They hated false teaching.
They endured hardship.
They bore the name of Christ without growing weary.
And yet Jesus tells them they have a serious problem: “You have abandoned the love you had at first.”
That’s a big charge. And it raises an important question: why does prioritizing love matter so much?
Because the starting point of your love determines the direction of your life.
Jesus was calling the Ephesian church back to rightly ordered affections. Love God first. Not theology first. Not discernment first. Not endurance first. God first.
Why? Because everything you do flows downstream from your greatest love.
Jesus was simply restating the first and greatest commandment:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind” (Matthew 22:37).
Miss that, and it doesn’t matter how right you are about everything else. Once they abandoned their first love, everything that followed was empty, sounding gongs, clanging cymbals… nothing.
2. Love Has an Origin
Have you ever tried to define love? In a culture where we say we love our spouse, our dog, and our favorite latte, it’s no wonder everyone has a different definition. But the simplest way to define a word is to go back to its source. The origin of love is God.
Scripture tells us plainly: God is love (1 John 4:8). That means love isn’t defined by feelings, preferences, or personal truth. Love is defined by who God is and how He acts. Biblical love sacrifices itself for the good of another.
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
Love forgives.
Love covers sin (1 Peter 4:8).
Love protects, guards, and seeks restoration.
And love is never inward, self-seeking, or self-focused.
If we get God wrong, we will get love wrong. And if we get the order of our affections wrong, we will love according to our own standards instead of God’s. That’s why when people quote “love your neighbor” but skip the first and greatest commandment, they’re already missing the point.
You cannot define love apart from God—because He is love.
3. Love Has Boundaries
This is where the culture really bristles. We’re told love should be limitless, unrestricted, and affirming of whatever someone desires. But Scripture tells a very different story. While God’s love is limitless, our affections are not meant to be.
God explicitly tells us not to love certain things—sin, evil, darkness, money, or the praise of people. And the fact that He warns us not to love them tells us something important: It is possible to love the wrong things.
So when culture shouts, “Love is love,” and then calls Christians hateful or bigoted for refusing to affirm what God calls sin, the issue isn’t a lack of love, it’s a misunderstanding of it.
In a culture allergic to the word no, people convince themselves they’re more loving than God Himself. But what they’re actually doing is offering a counterfeit love; one that affirms people straight into destruction.
That’s not love.
According to 1 Corinthians 13, love is patient, humble, selfless, and truth-anchored. Arrogance, defiance, and self-gratification aren’t love, they’re the opposite.
Final Thought
So here’s my charge to Christians:
Hold fast to God’s Word.
Look to the cross, where love was most clearly displayed.
And refuse to redefine love in ways that leave God out of it.
Any version of love that doesn’t begin with God is deception.
And if the world wants to scold Christians for being “unloving” while rejecting the God who is love, I won’t listen. Because they don’t know what they’re talking about.
Don’t be bullied into fake love. It’s weak. It’s empty. And it doesn’t save anyone.
God’s love rescues us from the darkness He tells us not to love, so that we can love what He calls good.
Want to Go Deeper? Study Love the Way Scripture Defines It
The Apostle Paul tells us that the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13)—but that statement only makes sense when love is defined biblically, not culturally.
In my lesson “The Greatest Is Love”, we walk through:
- What agape love actually is (and what it isn’t)
- Why love must be rooted in truth to be loving at all
- How misplaced love leads to confusion, not freedom
- Why love never contradicts holiness
If you’re ready to move beyond slogans and into a biblical worldview of love, you can access the lesson here:
Resources:
Shanda’s Podcast: Does God Love Everything? The Hard Lines Scripture Draws
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