Conflict And Confessions - Shanda Fulbright

I had just walked through the door after a two-and-a-half-hour lunch with my mom and sister, and my heart was full. We had such deep conversation that we lost track of time. It was one of those visits that only ended because I had to pick up my kids, not because I wanted to leave.

As I stood in the kitchen, my mom’s name popped up on my phone. It had only been an hour since I last saw her, so I wondered what she needed. I picked up and said, “Hello?” Her voice cracked, and she said, “Shan? I need to apologize to you.”

I was completely caught off guard. As far as I was concerned, she didn’t need to apologize for anything.

You have to understand something about my mom. She’s the one who instilled in me and my siblings a love for God and His Word. I look up to her, respect her, and love her deeply. No family is perfect, and we had our share of mother-daughter conflicts when I was growing up, but this caught me by surprise.

“Okay?” I said, unsure of what was coming.

She began, “For the past few weeks I’ve been assuming some things about you. After spending time with you today, I realize I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Instead of being hurt or offended, my heart melted. Her confession and apology meant the world to me. We continued the conversation and cleared up any misunderstandings. By the time I hung up, I loved her even more than I did before.

Don’t Take Forgiveness for Granted

Those words—”I’m sorry”—are powerful. They aren’t easy to say, but they hold the power to heal. They may be simple, but they are often neglected.

This moment with my mom taught me a valuable lesson. She didn’t have to tell me she had been stewing over something. After our lunch, she could have just let it go. I never would have known. But she didn’t take forgiveness for granted, and if she had, she would have forsaken biblical truth.

James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” It’s easier to confess to God than to someone else, especially when that confession involves admitting you were wrong about them. But confession brings healing—not just for the person confessing, but for the relationship.

Even though I was unaware of my mom’s assumptions, she knew, and it was chipping away at our connection. Her honesty made our bond stronger. God calls us to live in right relationship with one another, and He shows us how.

Conflict Isn’t the Enemy

Isaiah 1:18 says, “Come now, and let us reason together” or, in some translations, “Let us settle the matter.” God invites us to talk things out with Him. If the Creator of the universe is willing to reason with us, how much more should we be willing to reason with others?

I’ll be honest: I hate conflict. It gives me knots in my chest. My go-to move is to run home, close the blinds, and pretend it will all go away. But that’s not what God calls us to do.

Conflict is uncomfortable, yes. But it’s also an opportunity to grow stronger in our relationships. My mom showed me that. Her willingness to call and say, “I’m sorry” changed me.

God Cares About Relationships

Jesus emphasized this in Matthew 5:23-24: “If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.”

For years, I thought that if someone had a problem with me, that was their issue. But this verse tells us that if we even think someone is upset with us, we should be the ones to initiate reconciliation.

Because to God, it’s not just about us. It’s about relationships. And relationships matter to Him deeply.

The Healing Power of Confession

My mom’s apology reminded me of what love looks like. Of all the conflicts I’ve experienced in life, she is the only one who called, confessed, and said those two little words. And those words made me feel seen, valued, and loved.

My attitude toward conflict is changing. I still don’t love it, but I no longer see it as something to avoid at all costs. Now, I see it as a doorway to healing and deeper connection. Forgiveness should never be taken lightly, and it should never be ignored.

Final Thoughts

I want to encourage you to keep “I’m sorry” in your vocabulary. Don’t say it flippantly, but speak it when needed. Accept it when someone says it to you. It’s a simple phrase, but it has the power to transform relationships.

Conflict isn’t the end. It might just be the beginning of something stronger. Don’t run from it. Press into it with honesty, humility, and a desire to love well.

Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is, “I’m sorry.”

And sometimes, the most healing thing you can hear is, “I forgive you.”

Let those two little phrases shape your relationships for the better.